Attachment Theory Through the Research: From Bowlby and Ainsworth to Adult Love, and Can Attachment Change?
Why do some people panic when messages stop, while others pull away as things get closer? From Bowlby's and Ainsworth's original research to studies of adult attachment, and whether attachment styles can change.
Last reviewed 2026-09-29
Where did attachment theory begin?
The British psychiatrist John Bowlby (1969), observing war orphans and hospitalised children, proposed that children have an instinctive system for staying close to a protective person when they feel threatened. This is attachment. A child uses a reliable person as a “secure base” to explore the world and returns to them when frightened.
Mary Ainsworth (Ainsworth et al., 1978) observed this with the Strange Situation procedure. Watching how babies aged 12–18 months reacted to brief separations from and reunions with their mothers, she identified three patterns.
- Secure: upset at separation, but quickly comforted on reunion and back to play.
- Anxious-ambivalent: very distressed at separation and hard to soothe even after reunion.
- Avoidant: seems barely to react to separation or reunion, though the body’s stress response still appears.
Later researchers added disorganised attachment, marked by confused and inconsistent responses, as a fourth pattern.
Is adult love attachment too?
Using a newspaper survey of adult romance, Hazan and Shaver (1987) showed similar patterns in romantic relationships. About 56% of respondents described themselves as secure, 25% as avoidant and 19% as anxious.
Current research looks at people not as types but as scores on two dimensions (Brennan, Clark & Shaver, 1998).
- Attachment anxiety: how much you worry about being abandoned and how sensitive you are to your partner’s responses.
- Attachment avoidance: how uncomfortable closeness feels and how much you avoid depending on others.
Those who cling when contact drops often score high on anxiety, while those who go quiet as things get closer often score high on avoidance. When these two meet, a vicious cycle easily forms: the more one approaches, the more the other retreats. If you’re curious about your own scores, you can check them with OIYO’s attachment style test.
Can attachment change?
The claim that childhood attachment stays the same for life is an exaggeration. In Fraley’s (2002) meta-analysis, the link between infant attachment and later attachment was moderate — meaning there is continuity, but many people change.
- Earned security: some people with difficult childhoods develop secure ways of relating by reflecting on and making sense of those experiences (Roisman et al., 2002).
- The power of relationships: reliable partners, friends or therapeutic relationships can help reduce attachment anxiety and avoidance.
Attachment styles work best as a map for understanding yourself. Used as labels that box you or others in — “I’m avoidant, so I can’t help it” — they narrow relationships instead.
Summary at a glance
| Topic | What research says | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| Bowlby’s attachment | A system for seeking a protector under threat | Not about whether you deserve love |
| Strange Situation | Secure, anxious, avoidant (+ disorganised) | A classification from observing infants |
| Adult attachment | Scores on anxiety and avoidance | Look at scores rather than type labels |
| Change in attachment | Moderate stability; change is possible | ”Fixed for life” is an exaggeration |
References
- Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
- Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Erlbaum.
- Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524.
- Brennan, K. A., Clark, C. L., & Shaver, P. R. (1998). Self-report measurement of adult attachment: An integrative overview. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships (pp. 46–76). Guilford Press.
- Fraley, R. C. (2002). Attachment stability from infancy to adulthood: Meta-analysis and dynamic modeling of developmental mechanisms. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6(2), 123–151.
- Roisman, G. I., Padrón, E., Sroufe, L. A., & Egeland, B. (2002). Earned-secure attachment status in retrospect and prospect. Child Development, 73(4), 1204–1219.